The pain of change.
I am writing these words on a Monday evening , as I just finished my 9 to 5 (more like a 9 to 7 really.) I am tired, hungry and definitely feel more like watching an episode of Mr Plankton(I am obsessed). But, well he is not the one that is going to help me make my dreams come true. I am painfully writing these words , not because I don’t like writing or I don’t like the subject, but because this a new version of myself , still under development. This version gets works done despite just wanted to relax and unwind. This version makes sacrifices on things she has a lot of pleasures from, so that she can achieve her longterm goals.
I mean saying it like that it should really be easy, no one is forcing me , I have the freedom to make either choices.
But changing from the person that you are from the person you want to be , require a new sets of habits. And implementing those new habits is what doesn’t come very easy, changing old habits into new ones doesn’t come easy.
Why is change painful ?
As humans, we start forming habits very early in our life wether they stems from the education that we’ve received or being a response from the different experiences we’ve lived, the different choices we’ve make throughout our lives. And the more early an habit is formed, the more it is engrained in our brain and becomes a part of us. At some point we start to identify ourselves to those habits , good or bad. And, how can it be easy to let a part of yourself go ?
It is not. You are going to grieve that part of yourself. You will feel sad, sometimes lost because it will feel like you have lost your compass, your sense of direction. Changing requires embarking on a new journey towards a new world, a world you know nothing about. It’s impossible to know what this new world is going to give you in the end and that can be also be scary.
Yes, if you want to change, your are going to feel like sh*t for a certain period of time and your dopamine craving brain is going to hate you for it and definitely not make things easy for you as the temptations to go back to those old habits are going to be coming at you good. But hopefully, there are few ways to help you go through this process.
“Emotions are just messengers. Not problems”
How to overcome the pain of change ?
Well you can’t, not at first. The feelings are going to be very present in the beginning but as with all feelings the first step to managing it , is to accept it. Be ok with the fact that you are not feeling good and that you are going to feel different from your usual self for a few weeks maybe even months depending on the scale of the change. The second step, is to remind yourself every day on the W H Y . Why am I doing this ? That is the only thing that is going to keep you going. The result you are not going to see them instantly, they will appear on a longterm run. So reminding yourself your goals anytime you’re feeling like going back to your old ways is gonna get the machine moving.
You really will have to make the conscious choice of feeling pain and being okay with it because you’ll have only your end goal in mind. Be okay with the fact of not feeling okay. Don’t even try to feel better during this process. You have to be laser focused on what you want to accomplish, and make it happen no matter how you may feel. The satisfaction you will feel when you notice day by day the progress , the results from all your hard work, is going to be so grandiose that it will all be worth it in the end. So just keep going no matter what. Sign this contract with yourself today.