Fear as a fuel not a break engine.
Of all the emotions that we humans can feel, I personally think that fear might be the most powerful one. Fear is the emotion that is the most difficult to overcome and also the most useful, in my opinion. And that usefulness is what I would like to touch on in this blog post.
What is fear ?
Fear is that overbearing friend or family member that just wants to protect you (sometimes from everything). It’s that “shield” that you certainly need when facing a great battle but the thing is, that shield may also deploy in moments where you don’t need it, in moments where you might shine and hide your light. So you see, fear can be your friend and also your foe but the good news is, we have the power to choose which one we want it to be.
Fight or Flight
Without the ability to feel fear we certainly would have been extent by now. And that is all thanks to the fight or flight response that occurs in our body when facing a dangerous situation or a situation that our brain perceived as one.
Fight : Facing the threat head on
Flight : Running away from the danger
That system was for sure very beneficial 10000 years ago when we were living in the wilderness : being confronted to the wildest animals on a daily basis, you can only be grateful that your body gives you an instant signal to flee the scene and gives you the energy to do so.
Nowadays, although we don’t face these kind of threatening situations on a daily basis, we are still managing to trigger this response a whole lot and choosing to flee at times where really there is no need to. This response in itself is not a problem of course,i mean it’s not something you can control , and as we’ve mentioned above it exist for a reason. What is a problem is not knowing when to make the choice to fight or to flee or knowing it but nevertheless choosing to flee when you should have fought.
What do we fear nowadays?
In the modern world, lions have been replaced by psychological threats : success, change, failure, judgment, the unknown,...
Because these threats are not physical it doesn’t make much sense to have to choose between fighting or fleeing. It’s should be more like a fight or fight situation. I know from experience that it is definitely easier said than done especially for those of us who suffer from chronic stress and anxiety. But what better way to get rid of the stress or diminish it than by facing the situation that is the cause of it ?
Fight or Fight : how to ?
Embrace your fears
Before anything, you have to be okay with the fact that you are afraid of things that you know you shouldn’t be afraid of. Be okay with not being okay in the moments preceding a fearful situation. For example, when your fight or flight response kicks in the few moments before you are about to give a presentation. In this moment,Embrace your heart beating fast, your brain freezing, your palms sweating. By embracing what’s happening in the moment, calming yourself gets easier. By embracing and accepting it as something that is normal and is only part of this present moment, it will in no time be instead part of the past.
Identify your fears
Keep track of all the situations , all the things that makes you fearful. Keep a journal dedicated to them. Determine what are the things that triggers your fears, what are the reasons behind them. Determine what you can do to overcome each one of them.
Reframe your fears
See your fears in a positive light. If something makes you fearful , be glad for it, see it as a reason to go get it. To try to achieve it if it is something you can achieve. See it as a challenge where in the end the reward is going to be a step forward towards a more fearless life.
To make these steps easier , allow yourself a few minutes everyday to visualize your fears. See yourself embracing them, overcoming them, visualize yourself being so proud of yourself as you are able to overcome them. Take a fear at a time.
I really hope this post has been able to inspire you to not take action against your fears, but towards them, making them yours and not letting them control you :*