5 steps to help you manage your anxiety.
From a scientific point of view, anxiety is considered as being a natural emotional and physiological response to perceived threats or stress. As humans evolved, anxiety was needed in our body's "fight-or-flight" system to help us survive any king of danger. So it is actually a good thing that our body was able to respond that way (I would have definitely been grateful for my anxiety if i was living in a jungle and had to survive). But the thing is,that's not the case for the majority of us, but still we feel this fear in everyday mundane situations. That's where it can become a huge problem. And it has for me for many years before i could find the right tools, the right habits to help me manage it and not let my day or life ruined by it anymore.
From my teen years to most of my adult life , i struggled with anxiety. To be frank, it took me some time to understand that i was suffering from it. To me, i was just like that. It was me. This knot in my stomach that i felt everyday as soon as i woke up was natural and i felt like i was born that way. I can't seem to remember the exact moment that i learned that i was suffering from it but i think it came about when i started to really want to make my dreams a reality. And i know it was impossible for them to happen if i stayed the way i was, paralysed by the fear of anything,really. So at one point i started to tackle my fears one my one(and trust me the list was long): From the fear of asking for direction to the fear of getting my license, the fear of working in an open space to the fear of owning a blog about mental health. And i can't say to this day that i have managed to get rid of all my fears (is that even possible ?) but what has changed is that my anxiety doesn't stop me from doing anything anymore and this knot that i felt in my stomach, for so many years disapeared. If these words are speaking to you, know that you are not alone and there is hope. If i, of all people could do it (me the ultimate chicken, The boss) trust me you can too.
Below the steps that i followed and that have helped me:
# ACCEPTANCE
If there is something i wish I had done sooner, is accept the fact that I was someone with anxiety. I do think that it is part of the reasons that we have so much trouble dealing with it. We don’t accept the fact that we have this fear of literally doing some of the simplest things or being in some of the simplest situations. By accepting the fact that you are someone with anxiety, not only do you become more aware of your anxious thoughts , but it becomes easier to apply the tools that can help you manage it. How can you do that better ? By acknowledging little by little all the moments where you felt anxious. Write it down somewhere.You can for example dedicate a notebook to it. For every anxious moments, write down what triggered it, that will allow you (if you chose) to tackle those triggers one by one.
# TACKLE YOUR FEARS
I mean it is pretty obvious that the best way to get rid of a fear is facing it. But boy , it definitely is not the easiest, especially for us anxious people who tends to overthink a lot before doing something. And it is that THINKING that needs to stop for you to be able to just do it. But it is definitely one of those things that get easier as time goes by and as you try and try. You may not succeed on the first try but the important thing to do is not quitting not matter how difficult it may be.
To assure that you don’t do that, a good way to start , is to break down your fear into small steps so that you overcome it little by little. For example, let’s take the fear of asking for directions. For a long time that was something that I couldn’t do. If we’d want to break down that fear one by one , the first thing to note is that it stems from the fear of being judged, fearing if we make a mistake whilst speaking, that that person who doesn’t know us is going to say to him/herself all kind of negatives things about us, in his own head. How rational!
So,a good way to get rid of that fear would be to :
Once a week, ask a stranger something about them, like I love your watch, where did you buy it? Or what are you wearing, if you like their smell.You are making the other person talk and in most cases those interactions are going to be cheerful and will put you at ease and with time and practice you will not even have to think before asking a stranger anything.
# HAVE A ROUTINE
When you are anxious, you want control. If we could, we would be able to control everything in our life, no surprises or disruptions. And of course that is not possible. But a good way to have a certain sense of control (that would make a huge difference in managing your anxiety),a way to have a sense of grasp on your life is : to define a routine that works for you and is easy to follow in the context of your life. No matter how hectic your life can be , i highly recommend adding meditation and journaling to your daily routine ,that can be tremendously beneficial. The first can help you decompress and live more in the present , which is something we tend to have trouble doing as anxious’, and the later as mentioned above is a very good way to keep track on everything going on in your life, find the things you can be grateful for and identify the ones that you need to improve on.I think doing only those two daily, as soon as you wake up or as you go to bed will make a big difference in your life.
# GET RID OF SOCIAL MEDIA
That may seem a little bit radical but I know from my own experience that anxiety can make us indulge in things to numb ourselves , to not feel ,to not think. So this advice is for those like me who tend to scroll endlessly on social media not because we are just bored or want to get inspired or connect but because we want to escape , watching people live their lives thru a screen because we are too afraid to go live ours.
I know that it’s not the easiest thing as social media is an addictive tool but one way to start is quite simple : Delete the apps. Well that doesn’t mean that you will not try to download them again but at least the visual temptation is gone. Now when you find yourself wanting to get back to it, you can allow yourself to download it ,after a few days for example , choose an amount of time to spend on it, then delete it again. With time, it will start to have a less and less importance, you will think of it less and less. If because of FOMO(Fear Of Missing Out), this process is difficult for you, know there are so many tools out there that can keep you up to date about the latest trends , especially with AI now it has become easier to easily know about anything. An even better, this way you get to choose what goes thru your mind. So if you want to know what the latest trends are about this or that just ask ChatGPT.
# SEEK HELP
In some cases reading the books, or trying all the anxiety handling methods out there , are not enough to manage it. The best thing to do in those cases would be to turn to a professional. I myself yet had to turn to that but I have heard about some great methods that therapists use in helping managing anxiety. The most spoken of is CBT or Cognitive Behavioral Therapy which helps in reframing your anxious thoughts, making them more positive for example. It also helps you understand your fears more and tackle them thru exposure to them.
Medications are also used in treating anxiety ,but I have to say that if you can, refrain from using those. That should really be plan Z.
I hope reading these words were helpful to you and can be a good start in managing your anxiety. If you have any questions or remarks , feel free to leave a comment or contact me thru the “contact me” form.